A Blessing and a Curse...

So, God has been kind enough to bless me with a job interview... and I'm really messed up about it. It's with the Army Corps of Engineers in Alexandria, VA, and for those of you who I have kept in touch have probably just realized that it is not in Lowell, MA, where my fiancé' is and where I had every intention of going to when I finished here. I am decidedly not happy about this fact, and despite the thesis defense and a law final I believe this is the real reason I haven’t slept well in two nights and my anxiety is through the roof. Granted, I haven’t actually been offered a job yet but they are flying me out and paying for the hotel room for two nights... all before I ever even applied for a position... so I think I have a few reasons to feel good about this trip. In all honesty it could be one of the few positions that would allow me to do exactly what it is I have been studying to do the last 6 years, yet I am torn because it takes me away from my friends and family in MI and my fiancé' in MA. I'm also torn because I'm not sure exactly what I am looking for out of life yet. Some day’s I think I'm ready for the big leagues; ready to take on D.C. and to try and actually take on the world. Yet some days I miss the slow paced lifestyle of the U.P. where the bulk of my day involved enjoying nature and just trying to make it, living with the land and doing what you can to help your fellow yoopers make it through another day. Especially after the barrage of health issues I have had this year (and subsequently being forced to contemplate my mortality at the age of 24) I'm not opposed to taking a step back and working below my training if it means I can get the chance to live in the same town as my loved ones again. Anyway... I'm really messed up about this because it could be the greatest opportunity I've ever received, but I'm not sure it's what I want right now. I guess I need to wait to see if I even get an offer or not, but I have been thinking a lot about the future and this situation is really starting to weigh on me. I guess I just needed to vent...