Definitely More of a Blessing

So I'm sitting in my hotel room just outside of D.C., and after my last post (and since my interview was today) I thought it was appropriate to update you all with another post. Despite my hesitations, everything went very well today (or so I believe) and I actually think that I could be very happy here. I even got to take a half hour and re-work some of my research thoughts with two of my potential future co-workers, and one of them mentioned that a good portion of what they do is reading, conceptualizing new ideas, and discussing ways to practically implement them in brainstorming sessions. Moreover, the goal of many of these programs is to find ways to do things (examples: incorporating time sensitive dynamic qualitative data into a quantitative GIS structure) that have never been done before, at least not well. The idea of putting my mind to use towards unprecedented work that could actively reshape the way we utilize geospatial technology is an amazing concept, and although I'm sure its a little over dramatic and idealized as well, those are the goals that these people have and are actively working to achieve. We spend most of our time in the classroom actively discussing the idealized theory of how to change the world, and then most of us leave the institution and accept positions that never really allow us to devote our time to that sort of research and exploration. Here, it seems that I could make a living trying to change things... trying to make them better. I don't know, I guess part of me had accepted that that wasn't going to happen. That I was going to end up taking an office job, or a city position somewhere that would have allowed me to make an impact on peoples lives but that wasn't necessarily going to encourage me to tackle the big questions with any sort of practical output. I'm excited by the possibilities I suppose, and its a world of possibilities that is at my fingertips and not just in the idealized philosophies that I construct on my own time and have now practical output. Anyway, there has not been an offer or anything yet so perhaps I am jumping the gun with this enthusiasm but I left today being very hopeful of the future, and after my last message I wanted to share the happy thoughts with you all as well. And most importantly, thank you to those of you who expressed your support.

Now, the waiting game...

A Blessing and a Curse...

So, God has been kind enough to bless me with a job interview... and I'm really messed up about it. It's with the Army Corps of Engineers in Alexandria, VA, and for those of you who I have kept in touch have probably just realized that it is not in Lowell, MA, where my fiancé' is and where I had every intention of going to when I finished here. I am decidedly not happy about this fact, and despite the thesis defense and a law final I believe this is the real reason I haven’t slept well in two nights and my anxiety is through the roof. Granted, I haven’t actually been offered a job yet but they are flying me out and paying for the hotel room for two nights... all before I ever even applied for a position... so I think I have a few reasons to feel good about this trip. In all honesty it could be one of the few positions that would allow me to do exactly what it is I have been studying to do the last 6 years, yet I am torn because it takes me away from my friends and family in MI and my fiancé' in MA. I'm also torn because I'm not sure exactly what I am looking for out of life yet. Some day’s I think I'm ready for the big leagues; ready to take on D.C. and to try and actually take on the world. Yet some days I miss the slow paced lifestyle of the U.P. where the bulk of my day involved enjoying nature and just trying to make it, living with the land and doing what you can to help your fellow yoopers make it through another day. Especially after the barrage of health issues I have had this year (and subsequently being forced to contemplate my mortality at the age of 24) I'm not opposed to taking a step back and working below my training if it means I can get the chance to live in the same town as my loved ones again. Anyway... I'm really messed up about this because it could be the greatest opportunity I've ever received, but I'm not sure it's what I want right now. I guess I need to wait to see if I even get an offer or not, but I have been thinking a lot about the future and this situation is really starting to weigh on me. I guess I just needed to vent...