A Beautiful Memory

So I know I have taken this blog thing as kind of a ranting space, which has been helpful to me at times, but I also know that this makes this blog something of a downer to read (besides the fact that I am usually so busy that I fail to follow up on my intentions... i.e. the New School/NYU discussion). Anyway, a little while back I was flipping through some blogs of old friends on mine from High School and I realized that perhaps I should put something a little more personal in here, since perhaps some of you may be interested in who I have become over the last 6-7 years, as I was with the people who's blogs I was flipping through. I wrote a couple of different draft post but most of them were insanely long and tended to lose focus about half way through, so they never made the cut. Today, however, I'm writing just because I feel the need to talk and hopefully the thoughts on my mind will provide that personal insight I was hoping for.

So, yesterday I was informed that my summer funding was no longer a guarantee and that, despite the fact that I have an apartment lease through August, I will not likely have an income if I am forced to stay in Oxford to finish my M.A. this summer. Moreover, I am scheduled to present my work at the national conference of the AAG in Las Vegas in a few weeks and I have not come close to finalizing my conclusions. I am in a high stress long distance relationship with my with fiancé' who is roughly 1100 miles away, and since we are both broke we are about to enter an even higher stress period of our relationship since we are not sure when or how we might ever manage to get jobs in the same city again with this economy. Finally, this semester I was informed that at the age of 24 my anxiety had finally caught up to me and I now have hypertension, so all this stress could, in all reality, actually kill me. I know this seems like a bit of a downer start when I started this post saying that I didn't want it to always go in that route, but the reason I say this is because I am at that point where I'm breaking down (not worries, its temporary... happens most semesters as I’m sure any one of you who have been through college understands) and, as I did back in High School, I find myself drowning myself in music. I came across this version of the song "Hallelujah" this morning sung by the MSU Accafella's group and to be really honest, I just want to share it... so here is the link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bHLf7VIbU). It’s one of my all time favorite songs, and it's a pretty good version of it. Most importantly though, it’s done accapella and I think music done this way is one of the most beautiful things in the world (which is part of the reason I managed a recital hall for 2.5 years at Northern Michigan University.... this, and the live Jazz music). Besides this song though, it also reminded me of time in what I believe was my senior year in H.S.... whatever year the chamber singers was all girls for a semester. Whatever year it was, they performed an accapella version of Carol of the Bells for the holiday performance and, honest to God, it was so beautiful that it sticks with me to this day. I knew many of these women personally, and I knew they were talented, but something about that song that day that... I don't know. I'm truly at a loss of words. All I can say is that, despite my relative popularity in the theater, these singers were the kids that I wished I could be... these women were the one's that placed on a pedestal and didn't honestly think I was good enough to share a stage with. Anyway, when I heard this song this morning it reminded me of that day, and how if there was any one thing that I ever truly wanted in life it was to move or inspire people the way the Chamber women inspired me that day. Many times I get criticized for romancing my high school years, but to be honest there was something about those 4 years that have not been replicated in my life since. I know they were not perfect times but passion and inspiration was a daily part of my high school life. The people I spent the majority of my time with were dedicated to becoming better people, and trying to change the world to make lives better. Theater became a space for shared experience and discussion; a space to drop your insecurities and embrace the dream of a better world we all had inside. We had big plans, and from our opinions, enough talent to at least make an impact. There was a unity that we had, despite our differences, that truly made us believe that a better world was possible... and when I entered college, the supposed realm of theoretical-idealist exploration where we were to learn the upper levels of our dreams and ambitions, it was all lost. I really only met 2 people in college who were dedicated to trying to become better people and to inspire in others to change the world. So, despite the claims of many of my friends, I actually think that High School has been the best 4 years of my life thus far. I hope it doesn't stay that way, and I hope someday I can find the ability to inspire people the way that this small group of women inspired me 7 years ago, because I still believe it’s possible despite the daily negativity that my academic field bestows on me... and maybe music has an important role to play... who knows... but I hope some day to work with a group of people this passionate again.

Anyway, in the midst of my academic distress I came across this song, and this memory, and it's managed to put a smile on my face so I wanted to share this little piece of me. And if any of the Chamber women happen to read this, thank you.

The NYU Occupation

Since the eruption of the Greek Anarchist riots last fall, I have been following (as best I can given the restricted nature of the material, even within our nation of free speech) the increasing acts of protest that have been slowly building across the world. One of the closest has been the New School occupation in New York, which has been occurring since last fall as well. I have decided that these transgressions should be my next topic of discussion, however at this moment I only have enough time to post an e-mail I received this morning through one of the many listserv's I am a member of. I will give my comments on this later, but for now I just want to continue to spread these sentiments... not as my beliefs, but as an emerging movement that should at least be noticed:

Exiled in NYU: A communiqué from within the NYU occupation.
At the dawn of the New School occupation last December, we wrote, “This is only the beginning.”

We weren’t joking.

We are now occupying the halls of NYU alongside their students. With our bodies and barricades, we continue to manifest ourselves as a force of interruption against the enforced passivity of the university.

This occupation arises at a time of economic turmoil. The current crisis of capital is no fluke; it is the result of the real social conditions in which we live. NYU, one of the largest property owners in New York City, is a clear perpetrator of the misery everyone now feels. It has no alibi, only vulnerabilities.

From the insurrection in Greece to the revolts of Eastern Europe, from the university occupations across England to the general uprising in Oakland, something is in air. We can’t name it, but we can all feel it. Uncompromising, our power is growing. What has started as a singular strike against the structure of NYU’s form of domination will become a strike against the general logic of domination.

When we occupy spaces and liberate their use, we appropriate for ourselves the means of our very existence. We find each other here and now, in the midst of conflict and crisis, overturning every role we’re given, annulling every attempt to reconcile.

This is how we learn. This is how we fight.

In Exile,
Students of the New School
Feb 19th, 2009

"The Merchants of Cool"

So I have been notoriously hardnosed when it comes to controversial material, especially related to the darker material that often comes though my line of academic inquiry (for example, after watching a documentary on factory farming of chicken I was the only one to not turn vegetarian, at least for a short period of time. As a matter of fact, I went home that night and made chicken). However, I just watched a movie in class today that honestly made me sick to my stomach. It's not necessarily new material (the film was actually aired in 2001) and it concerned a topic that I have had many discussions about (media and the comodification of culture), but I think seeing the direct connection between the theory and the media that directly influenced my High School years, and ultimately who I was at that point in my life, really hit home. So I encourage anyone with an hour to sit down and work though this documentary called "The Merchants of Cool" (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/cool/) and then respond to this post with any feedback you might.

The film speaks for itself, but I did want to say that at about 50min into the documentary it discusses the relationship between media and the re-/production of society, and I could not help but remember what MTV was like when I was in High School and then compare it to the shit my brother watches on MTV now, and I can see a direct relationship between the type of people we were producing then and the type of people we are producing now (especially in the influential teen age range), and it really shouldn't be any wonder that our society is turning to cheep, comodified shit. I think the take home point here is a clear understanding of how much media influences the population and ultimately shapes the next generation... and that maybe we should look beyond the dollar sign and be a little more conscious with our social management (and let's be honest, the effect of the media on society is well understood and has been utilized continuously through marketing as a form of social management... its called Marketing and Advertising, and you can actually get a degree in it).

No Code For Old Men (a brief critique of fiscal zoning)

(I'm still sort of working on a much more elaborate critique of this but, at least for the purpose of the blog, I have moved on in my thought experiments and figured I should at least get up a short version while its still fresh in my mind... so here it is...)

So as I mentioned in the last post I was working on a very elaborate criticism of fiscal zoning and how, if expanded, it could effectively serve to eliminate local competition by protecting already established industry and preventing new business owners from being able to enter the market. In a very traditional economic sense, limiting the potential for competition would deter developers from creating new and better products since there would be no potential to make a profit from them (unless they sold them through already established retailers, in which the necessary markup required to provide both parties a profit would render the product unaffordable to the standard public). This completely undermines the fundamental aspect of capitalism. Moreover, even if developers are inspired to create new and better products, this regulation prevents new entrepreneurs from entering the markets that have been protected by fiscal zoning, which for some developers would be the market to which their product is best suited. Having multiple markets protected could effectively stagnate competition (at least within the regulated geographic/political area), and in turn remove a potential entrepreneurs right to try and better him/herself through the market (which was a major part of the original belief that each individual was entitled to a right to pursue life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness). By removing the ability to enter the competitive market we have then effectively stagnated society and removed the potential for individuals to change social class (which, I will argue, is still relevant despite the fact that, at least in theory, we claim not to be a class structured society. While maybe not in the traditional sense, I believe our informal economic segregation could argue otherwise). My point being that, in a capitalist society, fiscal planning would, at least theoretically, lead to a stagnated society representative of the traditional European class structure from which our forefathers ultimately fled.

Taking the thought experiment a step farther, I also find it interesting that this class structure hierarchy from which we fled served as a foundational cornerstone for the enlightenment era’s political and philosophic obsession with private property (a principle still heavily relevant in our modern society), from which the desire to protect individual property led to the subsequent development of land use zoning… the same tool that has since justified the use of fiscal zoning and now holds the growing potential to reinstate the political/societal framework from which our forefathers considered detrimental to human liberty. While I openly admit there are a lot of theoretical IF’s in this thought experiment I do think it’s important to note the potential impact that currently acceptable governmental regulation can have. Fiscal zoning is continuing to grow in popularity and the government has stated, through judicial rulings, that this is an acceptable use of police power. While I have a lot of passion for the theoretical foundation of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness it seems that over time we’ve allowed (and continue to allow) our freedoms to be compromised for the guarantee of comfort. Without challenges, without competition, we lose sight of our goals to try and be better people, a better society. We have lost sight of the endless pursuit of perfection and settled on a system with vast, obvious, flaws…

When I started writing this I did not consciously intend to come back to the main point of my first post, but apparently I have. I do think it’s an important one though… why settle with imperfection? Appreciate what we have, yes, but never lose the challenge of trying to make it even better. And I also feel that I should (for those of you who do not know we personally very well) explain that I am not universally against the existence and regulation of government. Not in the least. I just believe that we have gone astray, and that government should serve as a tool of the people… all people… and not as a tool to suppress the people. More importantly, I believe that a better government, and a better society, is actually possible… we just need to accept the fact that it will be difficult, that it will be time consuming, and there will be some initial hardships, but ultimately we can do better. We don’t need to settle…